so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
