I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
