Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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