margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
