Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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