I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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