me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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