I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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