I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
