$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
