By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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