My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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