Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
