i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
sex in a hospital.. check
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
how does that bad decision feel?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
