Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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