im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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