So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
