how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
