my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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