Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
