So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
