ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
