I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
