i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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