There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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