Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
