I can't watch pbs sober anymore
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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