and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
