Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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