I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
