people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
