I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
