HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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