so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
