I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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