He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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