party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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