then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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