Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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