Pappa wants mamma naked
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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