I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
