am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
