I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
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