Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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