Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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