i barfeds in our rink
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
