He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
