Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
