Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
