why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
